Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Bronx Slap Shot

       
     After a recent lacrosse game, I was chided by teammates Ben McCarthy and Andy Liptak when I admitted that I had never seen the movie Slap Shot. At least not from start to finish, and only in a version edited for television.
     The reaction from my two friends ranged from disbelief to palpable indignation.
      "Are you kidding me? What's wrong with You?!" Ben says.
      "What are you, some kind of fascist, sacrilegious, anti-American, troglodyte (or words to that effect)?" Lippy asks.
     The topic came up during discussions on everyday things, like nuclear physics and the role of cultural differences upon modern global ethics. 


    
     "I've got a lot of talent" Ben says to me. "And I'm not talking about lacrosse, either. You have no idea the talents I possess." I nodded in a "I don't doubt it" fashion, and asked if he had ever seen the movie A Bronx Tale. Both he and Lippy said no, and now I'm the one making accusations of fascism and sacrilege. I explain how Ben's comments reminded me of the theme behind this classic movie's repeated mantra, Robert Deniro claiming "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent".
     
     Now certainly, I'm a huge fan of sports comedies. White Men Can't Jump, Caddyshack, and Bull Durham--I give those movies six enthusiastic thumbs up. But when my two friends suggested that not only is Slap Shot the best sports movie ever made, but quite possibly the best movie ever made, then a debate on that claim is warranted. Hysterical one-liners and goofy characters can make for a hilarious movie, but can only carry it so far into the "classic" category. But a movie like A Bronx Tale, with a impeccable blend of comedic, moral, cultural, and sociological substance, and with its many memorable scenes, definitely carries such a distinction:
The unforgettable barroom scene where the unruly biker gang met its match. Or when the neighborhood boys were doing their imitations of the local street corner Wise Guys. And who can forget the classic "door test" dialogue between mob boss Sonny and teenager Cologero in determining whether or not a girl is girlfriend material.

And of course, there's also plenty of quotable quotes:
"JoJo the Whale...legend has it his own shadow once killed a dog."
"Put him in the bathroom."
"Now you's can't leave."

But the reigning message of the movie was Deniro's character repeatedly telling his son that the saddest thing in life is wasted talent.
 

     Ben and Lippy spouted off a few scenes and quotes from Slap Shot in an effort to convince me of its status in great American theater. I recall something about putting on the foil, and something else about deliberately getting penalties during a game for some odd and unique reason. I tried to visualize what was so funny about a Hanson brother getting gypped out of a quarter by a soda machine. I failed. 

  
     I promised the boys I'd revisit this Slap Shot movie, if only to prove to my two friends that I'm not too young to appreciate a movie from the 70's. And also to prove that I'm not an anti-American troglodyte (whatever that is). I recommended they watch A Bronx Tale, and pay close attention to the layers of life lessons espoused therein.

      Our pact was sealed, our invitations accepted. And Ben, with all his self-proclaimed talents, drives off and into the night. I wished for him that these talents of his flourish and go unwasted. I also hoped, that whatever they are, they don't have anything to do with tassels or zebra skin jockstraps.

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