Sign, Sign, Everywhere I Sign

    

New York State of Mind.   

     I walked in the rain at dusk from Madison Park on West 26th Street, onto Broadway, and up 42nd Street.  I had a bounce in my step as my mind's eye pictured the last scene in Saturday Night Fever - the iconic John Travolta strut on the streets of New York City. "Staying Alive" played on the jukebox in my head as I felt an exhilarated calm and hyperawareness that I rarely feel these days.  The heavy rain wasn't bothersome to me, and the fact I wasn't using the most direct route back to my hotel room didn't matter. I enjoyed the cool, wet air amongst the purposeful walking of those passing me on the crowded sidewalk. Being a suburbanite visitor on the "mean streets" of New York is always a welcoming culture shock, and never scary.  I love The Big Apple.  I like how it gives me the simultaneous feeling of insignificance and empowerment.

     I strutted unabashed with my huge 2'x3' double-sided poster board sign strapped around my shoulder.  On one side read "IGNORING IT IS WHAT THE GERMANS DID" with the faces of Donald Trump, Adolph Hitler, and Elon Musk on it.  The flipside read "THE ONLY IMMIGRANT STEALING AMERICAN JOBS IS A NAZI" with Musk flashing his infamous Nazi salute. 

     "Be careful" are the repeated words I hear from both Mom and Uncle George whenever I tell them I'm off to partake in one of my sign-wielding protests.  Usually that warning comes when I embark on one of my solo sidewalk demonstrations.  Their concern is valid, and a sad commentary on the hatred and violence of the Donald Trump MAGA movement I feel compelled to stand up against. On this April 5th, there was no need for concern.  I was with roughly 100,000 like-minded, peaceful people for the "Hands Off" march, a nationwide protest spanning hundreds of locations across the country. Safety in numbers in New York was its own impenetrable defense.  Even as I walked alone for two miles from Madison Park to my hotel afterward as night approached, I felt as fearless as ever.  Emboldened by the task completed and the knowledge that my exposed sign in the mostly Trump-hating city, left me with absolutely nothing to worry about. Compared to the hundreds of times I've been cursed at and threatened back home, the city of 8 million people is much safer than a white suburban town of 30,000 when it comes to opposing a white supremacist, racist, dictator.

Election Depression

    "We'll be alright."

     That's what my friend, Mike repeated several times over the weekend following the November 5th presidential election.  We commiserated in disbelief over the realization of what our country had devolved into by electing this horrible man - FOR A SECOND TIME!  The felon, racist, draft dodger, tax fraudster, and adjudicated rapist. The person whose incompetence and negligence were responsible for hundreds of thousands of Covid deaths. The guy who is excruciatingly stupid and has temper tantrums like a six-year-old.  The sociopath who incited an insurrection to overthrow the United States government. The traitor who sides with Vladimir Putin over his own military Intelligence and repeatedly ignored his oath to the Constitution.  The failed business conman and reality TV host, who grifted and bribed his way to billions of dollars' worth of personal profit and contracts off his first term.  The President deemed the worst POTUS in history by political scholars and historians.  A man labeled utterly incompetent and a fascist by his own former Chief of Staff.  THIS GUY was chosen by the American people. Again. This can't be real.

     "We'll be alright."

     Those words eerily stayed with me for days afterward.  Mike was speaking specifically about he and I, and by extension, his wife and adult children.  He spoke truth.  Aside from the fact that my taxes had increased thanks to America's Hitler current tax plan that allowed for tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans, I was okay during his first term. And I'll be okay again, I thought.  I've lived a life of privilege thanks to the societal comforts the good 'ole USA has bestowed upon me.  As a white, heterosexual, college educated, suburbanite, I've had the luxury of never being discriminated against because of my race, sexual orientation, or religion.  And unless I come out as gay or become a Muslim, I'm safe from the assaults of bigotry, racism, and inequality the Christo-fascist Republican Party wields upon those they portray as inferior or potentially threatening to their white, Christian nationalist identity.

     So why did Mike and I, and six others of us at brunch that Saturday morning, collectively feel an emotional paralysis of depression and despair?  Why were our conversations filled with distress and hopelessness?  Why did we all predict a doom and gloom future, notably Susan, an immigration lawyer who foresaw a myriad of nightmarish challenges coming her way?  Because despite our recognized collective privilege, and because of it, Mike and my fellow brunch-mates possess three things that the average Trump voter doesn't: Critical thinking skills, empathy, and a disdain for bigotry and racism:

  

The MAGA Brain. 

     Critical Thought:

     I'm convinced that the majority of Trump supporters either lack critical thinking skills, or they willfully choose an emotional belief system over one based on objective and intellectual reasoning.  In psychology, critical thinking is defined as: "the intellectually disciplined process of actively and skillfully conceptualizing, applying, analyzing, and/or evaluating information gathered from, or generated by, observation, experience, reflection, reasoning, or communication, as a guide to belief and action".  The most obvious example of this lacking in the Trump supporter is the January 6th insurrection attempt and riot upon the Capitol Building - the most vile and violent display of an unamerican event in history.  The attempt to overthrow the government and keep Donald Trump in power failed, and Trump was impeached for the second time for it.  There are countless Trump supporters who claim J6 was a peaceful protest, despite hours of video showing the exact opposite.  To this day, there are countless supporters who still believe that the 2020 election was rigged, despite zero evidence and 60 court rulings determining no election fraud had occurred.  So why do Trumpers believe these proven lies?  Because their leader repeats this nonsense, over and over, so it must be true.  No matter the lie, big or small, the Trumper's brain will not allow any dissent of thought against their dear leader.  Be it his ridiculous claim that abortions are performed after birth, to sex change operations happening in public schools, to Haitian migrants eating cats and dogs, to Barack Obama being born in Kenya, to Mexico paying for the wall, to China paying the tariffs, to Ukraine invading Russia... no lie is too demonstrably absurd for Trump to tell.  And yet his cult of bobbleheads will believe and repeat such things as true.  And on the rare occasion when it is impossible for the Trumper to believe or defend the lie, their default is to laugh it off as Trump "just joking", or claiming it as some sort of masterful 3D chess game he's playing.  Believing such nonsense is as rational as thinking windmills cause cancer and George Washington took over the airports.

     Empathy:  It's no surprise that concern about the welfare of others is as low as you can go on the personality trait list for conservatives.  If the Narcissist-in-Chief is someone you want in charge of social safety net programs and where taxpayers' money should be allocated, then you're uninterested in helping those less fortunate than you.  If you still voted for the guy despite him mocking the handicapped and Gold Star families, stealing inheritance money from his family members, and saying of his nephew's developmentally disabled son to just "let him die" because of the cost of his care, then that's a direct reflection on your own values.  If believing that migrants fleeing poverty, war, and drug cartels are "illegals" and should all be deported because they're a threat to you in some way, you're both unempathetic and ill-informed.  If someone else's misfortune and underprivileged living circumstances doesn't affect you because of your own fortune and privilege, then you predictably wave the Make America Great flag proudly.  Recently rightwing talking heads and conservative Christians have made popular the concept they call the "sin of empathy".  Apparently condemning gay people under the false interpretation of Sodom & Gomorrah isn't enough hateful ammunition for the conservative right.  They feel the need to make caring about all people an abomination also.    

Racism & Bigotry:

     I have an Instagram page entitled trump.is.racist.  To date, I have posted 145 times on it, the majority of which I posted during Trump's first term.  Each post is an example of Trump's lifelong racism.  Such as:

     Not renting apartments to black people in the 1970's. Calling for the death penalty for the Central Park Five (which he never recanted despite their exoneration) in the 1980's.  Eliminating federal funding to any program, agency, department, business, or school he determines implements DEIA (Diversity, Equality, Inclusion, Accessibility) policies.  Calling his neo-Nazi supporters "very fine people". Hosting neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes at the White House and at least three Nazi sympathizers at his golf resorts.  Surrounding himself with racist, white nationalist, and xenophobic advisors and policy influencers like Steve Bannon, Michael Flynn, Julia Hahn, Jeff Sessions, and Stephen Miller.  Deleting historical Black and Native American accomplishments from the official White House website.  His birthirism lie about Barack Obama, his Muslim ban, his neo-Nazi memes about Hillary Clinton, his endless racist slurs, tweets, and posted memes about immigrants, Muslims, "shithole countries", Native Americans, the Chinese.... on and on.  The examples of this disgusting man's hate and blatant racism is endless.  Does this mean that his supporters are racist too or are they "racist adjacent"?  Yes, or yes.  That just one, or ten, or the dozens of times he has proven his racism hasn't changed the opinion of his supporters, shows they're okay with racism.  

     Trump's attacks on civil and equal rights for the LGBTQ community is also a long list of bigoted exclusion.  Military service, health care coverage, and protections in marriage, employment, and education continue to be opposed by his administration of hate and discrimination. The Christian-Fascist rightwing has its permanent fingerprints all over Trump and the Republican Party more than it ever has.  It has bought and chosen only anti-LGBTQ congressmen and judges to construct and pass laws stripping Constitutional rights away from people who choose their freedom from religion.    

         

Getting Political.

     Uncle George asked me recently where my political "activism" comes from.  I had to think about that for a while.  I wasn't exactly sure.  I did know the when to that question, although I'd label it an awareness, not activism.  It was the days and months following September 11, 2001.  Shocked by the hijacking of planes exploding into the World Trade Center and Pentagon, I needed to know the why behind Osama Bin Laden's terrorist attack.  Why would he do such an evil thing?  What was his motive for it?  Was it simply pure evil, or was it evil as an act of retaliation?

     When George W. Bush pre-emptively invaded Iraq a year and a half later, my question why did he do this? turned into why the fuck are we doing this? The horrific levels of death and destruction the United States illegally and immorally unleashed upon the Iraqi people unnerved me to the core.  How could we do this?  Aren't we the good guys?  Doesn't America stand as the example of righteousness across the world?  Unlike Mike and Uncle George, I wasn't the student of American and World History that they were.  I was ignorant about so many things, like the genocide of Native Americans, World War II & The Holocaust, and the Military-Industrial Complex.  Any casual interest I had in sociological or historical repercussions upon the human condition was usually sparked by a Springsteen song or a movie I had seen.  What I had always thought was the "land of the free and home of the brave" became less the shiny city on the hill and more a dark and corrupt empire of lies and whitewashed history when I began to look deeper.  

     The Iraq War was my personal introduction to a political consciousness I hadn't had before.  Horrific reports, images, and videos of Iraqi civilians being shot, bombed, and tortured became a daily and inescapable presence upon me.  A trillion-dollar war lasting nearly eight years, resulted in 211,000 Iraqi civilian deaths, millions displaced, and 4,598 U.S. soldiers dead.  What the actual fuck?  All this horror because of the Bush administration's lies claiming Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction and ties to al-Qaeda and the 9/11 attacks.  Investigative journalist and author Bob Woodward said it will be 100 years before we really know Bush's reasons for the invasion, when historical archives are opened up.  "He tried to kill my dad", Bush repeated often before 9/11.  Which certainly illuminates a personal element of revenge on his part, not a strategic political necessity.

     My book reading preferences changed from mostly sports and philosophy to politics and recent history.  My television viewing became less ESPN and more CNN.  I quickly learned the fundamental differences between our two political parties. I learned which party favored policies that helped the majority of Americans and stood for putting money and resources into programs that benefited the poor, working class, disenfranchised, and marginalized.  Which party stood up for the protection of civil liberties and environmental necessities.  Which party took FDR's "Four Freedoms" of Speech, Worship, From Want, and From Fear more seriously.  As flawed as both the Democratic and Republican parties are (and American politics in general), the clear choice of which party represented the betterment of the people, for the people, was and is, the Democratic Party.  By a country mile.

Catholic Jesus.

     When I finally came up with the from where? answer to Uncle George's question, the answer was less explicit, but no less definitive.  It's because of the ethical and moral compass I cultivated from my lifelong Catholic influence.  Whether real or imagined, or a combination of both, the teachings of the biblical Jesus and the lessons I learned as a practicing Catholic molded my value system more than anything else.  I'm forever grateful to Mom, who religiously (pun SO intended) took me and my sisters every week to church ever since I can remember.  We also attended CCD class from second grade through high school.  The church and mass were something I gravitated to at a young age, mostly because of how the priests at church did a wonderful job of personalizing the messages of Jesus during their homilies.  The most influential code of conduct for me from an ethical standpoint (my parents notwithstanding), has always been the selfless and humanitarian words and actions I interpreted from Jesus in the Gospels.  And I had wonderful people as mentors who both humbly spoke and lived out that Gospel message: Fr. Joe, Fr. Terry, Fr. Hugh, and Fr. James.  The Catholic Christian devotional, "The Imitation" by Augustinian monk Thomas A Kempis, was my go-to for its spiritual depth and instruction on how to live like Christ.  The radical compassion and servitude of this Jesus figure became my role model of selfless morality and compassion, and for how to treat others.

     In the irony of ironies, it was my Catholic catechesis and influence that led me to my first public "activism".  That being my participation in protesting the rampant sexual abuse and cover-up scandal of Cardinal Bernard Law and the Boston Archdiocese in 2002.  The institution that taught me about What Would Jesus Do? was the very same institution that was engaged in the most detestable anti-Jesus sins imaginable.  

     When my interest in the politics grew, the basic tenets of my Catholic catechism were the guidelines of my persuasion.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  What you do to the least of your brother, you do onto me.  Heal the sick.  Feed the hungry. Clothe the naked. Shelter the homeless.  Welcome the immigrant. The meek, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers - blessed are all of them. The humanity, acceptance, and compassion Jesus showed toward those marginalized and shunned by the religious and political leaders of his day, naturally formed the basis for my own political ideology.  Which leaves me resisting the same type of religious and political power structure today that Jesus did 2,000 years ago.  

Republican Jesus.

     Jerry Falwell's "Moral Majority" movement in the 1980's partnered with the Republican Party to help get Ronald Reagan elected.  Since then, the marriage between Evangelical Protestants and the GOP has evolved into the full-blown White Christian Nationalist party we see today.  The support of this Hollywood actor over the real evangelical Christian Jimmy Carter, was not only a turn away from true Christian values, but a predictor of things to come for the GOP.  Instead of a platform of service to humanity, Republicans ignored the inclusive teachings of Jesus in favor of apocalyptic interpretations of the bible and manufactured culture wars sold as "family values" and "biblical principles".  Falwell's initial attempts at galvanizing Republican voters were with his racist and discriminatory pro-segregation pitch.  When that strategy wasn't quite enough to gain the necessary numbers needed for Republican victories, Falwell turned to the issue of abortion.  The previously morally inconsequential issue for Protestants soon became the most consequential and important moral issue known to mankind.  As it turns out, it set the precedent for the Evangelical voting block being the most easily manipulated faction of the Republican Party that continues today.  Rebooted culture issues are hatched and tweaked every election season depending on the latest created crisis the GOP can muster to cajole their religious base into action.  Falwell's flock has vehemently opposed the ERA, gay marriage, the "bathroom bill", gay wedding cakes, "inappropriate" books in schools and libraries, drag queens reading to children, transgender athletes, removing Confederate statues, CRT, DEI, PBS, NPR....   All created hot-button issues constructed to reflect the "evils of a godless, secular society seeking to destroy America and the Christian values it was founded upon".  All nonsense.  Yet this "culture war" propaganda has been the Christian-right's playbook since Falwell's Moral Majority up through the current Project 2025 of The Heritage Foundation.  

     Christian fundamentalism has been my biggest nemesis for the better part of my life.  Since my early 20's I was told things like "Catholics aren't Christians", "the Roman Catholic Church is the whore of Babylon", and "the Pope is the Antichrist".  No Protestant or Born-Again Christian was going to denigrate and slander the Church I grew to love, no Sir.  So, I became my own personal Catholic apologist, thanks to books like Karl Keating's Catholicism and Fundamentalism and St. Francis de Sales' The Catholic Controversy.  For all the faults and sins of the Catholic Church, most of its theological tenets I found compatible to my belief and value system.  What resonated most for me then and still now, is learning of, and how to avoid, the sin of hypocrisy.  For all the jokes and truth about "Catholic guilt", I can truly say that guilt played a huge part in teaching me about hypocrisy.  Feeling guilt was my conscience telling me I needed to correct whatever behavior I knew was inconsistent with the Gospels and lessons I learned and read about in CCD class.

     Jesus spoke this of the religious leaders of his day: "You hypocrites! These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men." (Mt. 15:8-9).  Jesus took an equally staunch stand against sanctimony, calling hypocrites "wolves in sheep's clothing" (Mt 7:15), "whitewashed tomb" (mt. 23:27), "snakes", and "brood of vipers" (Mt. 23:33).  The apostle Paul writes "They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient, and unfit for anything good" (Titus 1:16).  And my favorite, and most simple and direct, "Faith without works is dead" (James 2:26).   

     Dad was never one to quote scripture, but he often summed up Jesus and James in secular terms pretty well:  "Actions speak louder than words" I heard him say countless times growing up. No group epitomizes the definitions of hypocrisy and hypocrite like Christian Republicans.  Rarely will you hear a Republican Evangelical leader even quote the words of Jesus, certainly not the Beatitudes or Matthew 25.  You won't hear a Falwell or James Dobson or Tony Perkins or Ralph Reed or Robert Jeffress repeat Jesus' words about feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, helping the poor, welcoming the stranger, or paying your taxes. That's not the Republican way.  That's the "woke", "radical liberal" and "socialistic" agenda according to them.  What it actually is, is the real "Pro-life" agenda.  Which is not to be confused with the "Pro-birth" agenda of Republicans, who couldn't care less about the quality of a person's life after they're born.  Supporting the death penalty is not pro-life.  Pro-life is not keeping a child unfed.  Not ensuring housing, education, healthcare, contraception, and maternity leave is not pro-life.  Opposing strict gun control laws and a ban on weapons of war is not pro-life.  Opposing environmental protections for clean air, clean water, clean lands, and clean oceans is not pro-life.  And certainly, supporting Israel and its genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestinians is not pro-life.  (Believing Israel has God's blessing in doing so, is as abhorrent a belief one could have.)  A Republican who claims to be pro-life is a hypocrite.  A Republican Christian claiming to be pro-life is the ultimate hypocrite.  And as simple as simple gets, one can't be a Christian and a Trump supporter - full stop.  I won't say Trump is the Antichrist, but he certainly is the anti-Jesus.    

          

Cult of Personality.

           My niece, Anna has a different take on my participation in protests, particularly my one-man protests.  "You enjoy antagonizing the Trumpers" she says.  "You like it when you're able to get under their skin and get a negative reaction out of them."  She's not wrong.  Comparing Trump to Hitler and claiming Trump supporters are in a cult are not only provocative but also personally insulting to the Trumper's character.  And I have no problem at all insulting the Trump supporter for their stupidity, lack of morals, and loyalty to this repulsive man.  They deserve it.  I blame them for voting for the magnitude of destruction he has wielded upon this country, the Constitution, this world, and humanity.  Though mocking and insulting Trumpers isn't my reason for protesting, pissing off the Maga Cult is admittingly an amusing benefit.

     There's an adage in sports that says:  Playing sports doesn't build character, playing sports reveals character. I apply a similar principle to politics: One's political leanings don't build morality, they reveal one's morals. In all my life, nothing has been more revealing about the morals and values of people on such a large scale, than when Donald Trump became the Republican candidate in 2016.  This is when his racism, infidelities, corruption, and pathological lying became known to all who paid attention. His racist remarks and practices, his multiple affairs, womanizing, and misogyny; his theft of thousands of contractors who sued him for non-payment, his tax evasions, his draft dodging, his vulgar lies and remarks toward his critics (especially women), amongst many other morally reprehensible things were all made public.  If the average Trump supporter remained ignorant to all this history of his, then the Access Hollywood tape certainly changed that.  It was impossible to avoid.  And yet Trump's own admission of sexually assaulting women was not enough for his supporters to disqualify him.  Certainly not for the 82% of white Evangelical Christians and 60% of white Catholics who still voted for him.  The demographic that shouted from the rooftops, pulpit, and political podium about family values and biblical values, became his biggest defender.  Christian Republicans were all on board with a man who had never read the Bible (but hawked his own Trump Bible at $60 a whack), could not quote one passage or lesson from it, never attended church, admitted to never asking God for forgiveness, admitted to being a sexual predator, was a serial adulterer, and had repeatedly broken at least nine of the Ten Commandments.  This was the crowd who claimed Bill Clinton should have been removed from office over a consensual affair and that Barack Obama, a devout Christian and church goer, was really a secret Muslim.  All of a sudden, despite his faults and sins, Trump was still "chosen by God" and forgiven.  Because he wasn't a Democrat.  Hypocrisy personified.

     I was an early one to use the "C" word.  I began calling the MAGA base a cult, or "Maga-cult" early in his first term.  There was nothing too vile or too cruel that this man could do to lose support from his supporters.  He mocked the handicapped and insulted war heroes and Gold Star families.  He continued his racist behaviors by trying to implement a Muslim ban.  He praised dictators of adversarial countries while denigrating American military heroes. He insulted the religion of Democratic members of congress and continued to use President Obama's middle name as a slur and dog whistle for his base of white supremacists, the KKK, and Proud Boys. The Adderall-addicted, narcissistic sociopath, and future adjudicated rapist was calling Mexican migrants drug dealers, mental patients, and rapists.  His pathological lying started on day one of his presidency which ended up totaling over 30,000 lies at its conclusion.  He averaged six lies a day in 2017, 16 lies a day in 2018, 22 lies a day in 2019, and 27 lies a day in 2020.  He lies and lies and lies and lies.  All the way to the culmination of The Big Lie resulting in January 6, 2021, when his cult tried keeping him in power by the most violent, destructive, and unamerican means.  Nothing Trump does or says is a deal-breaker for the Trump Cult.  Comparing the unwavering discipleship of Trumpers to the cult followers of Jim Jones, David Koresh, and Charles Manson is not hyperbole.

Broken Bridges.

     I haven't lost any close friends over the Trump issue.  Close friends share similar values, principles, and philosophies, which encompasses political viewpoints. That's not always the case with casual friendships.  Some casual friends of mine have turned into non-existent friends because of their support of Trump.  To claim the reason for this is "just politics" is not accurate.  Not for me.  It's not about politics, it's about morality.  It's not about Democrat or Republican, it's about right or wrong.  It's not about conservative or liberal, capitalism or socialism, theism or atheism, Christian or Muslim. It's about human decency, compassion, and a respect for all.  It's about whether someone's moral compass aligns with mine.  I draw a line at things way less serious than rape and sexual assault.  Being best friends with Jeffrey Epstein for over two decades is a big deal. Stealing from a children's charity is not something I can overlook.  Call me crazy, but I think inciting an insurrection, adhering to Vladimir Putin's wishes, stealing classified intelligence documents for one's own nefarious reasons, and being convicted on 34 felony counts should put someone in prison for life.  Trump's arrival on the political scene has shed light on people's opinions and values that had been hidden or dormant before.  And my moral compass isn't very flexible when it comes to who I include in the direction I'm headed. 

         

     A friend of twenty-five years, Jennifer and I worked out at the gym together, we walked our dogs together, and had been out to shows and restaurants together.  If we didn't see each other for more than a week or so, we'd share a text just to stay in touch.  For some reason, she never asked about the "F45CK" t-shirt I wore many times to the gym, which I thought was odd, but whatever.  Our relationship wasn't close enough where politics were ever discussed.  When I made a comment about being depressed over the election results, her response was, "I'm not upset about it."  That was five months ago.  We've spoken once briefly since then, texted zero times, and have avoided each other at the gym altogether.

     A magnetic anti-Trump bumper sticker disappeared from my car when it was being serviced at the auto repair shop that I had gone to for many years.  The owners are staunch Trump supporters.  I've gone elsewhere since. 

     When I wore a Michael Myers costume for Halloween and publicly cosplayed a comparison to Donald Trump with a sign I made, several drivers-by took exception.  Lacking the concept of allegory, I was cursed out with: "why don't you take off your fuckin' mask...!", "take off the mask, you pussy!", "Look at the coward, hiding his face!", along with the customary middle finger about a dozen times. (It wasn't all negative, however.  There are some sane people out there.)  Someone had taken my picture and posted it on the town's community forum Facebook page.  Hundreds of posted negative comments included calling me hateful, stupid, a wimp, and a coward for not showing my face.  A few came from (casual) friends of mine not knowing it was me in costume, one from a family member, and another from a family member's extended family. 

  

     My sister removed and threw away bumper stickers from my car on at least two occasions.  She threw in the trash our mom's life size cardboard cutout of Barack Obama that she had in her house, and she also discarded a Joe Biden/2020 lawn sign from her front lawn.  Each time she denied or minimized her actions, not thinking it audacious at all what she did. She and two other sisters and their husbands are also full-fledged Trump supporters.  All of whom showed little interest or knowledge of current event politics before his arrival onto the political scene. They all became ardent anti-science, anti-vaxxers when Covid hit, believing the propaganda of "wellness influencers" and doctors who were stripped of their medical licenses. They promoted and posted on their social media lies and conspiracies about the Covid virus and the vaccine.  They believed the anti-vax disinformation propagated by the "Frontline Doctors" and "Disinformation Dozen".  Nutjob Stella Immanuel (who believes demon sperm transmitted during sex dreams with supernatural beings cause gynecological diseases), J6 rioter Simone Gold (who made a fortune selling her anti-vax wellness products) and future Trump Health & Human Services Director and conspiracy theorist crazy Robert F Kennedy Jr., were among them.  These grifting frauds peddled for profit Ivermectin and Hydroxychloriquine for Covid, both of which were repeatedly found ineffective as treatment by every credible peer-reviewed medical source.  But this tied in nicely with the Christian/Republican anti-science narrative: that God is the ultimate healer, masks are ineffective, vaccines are dangerous, and the educated liberal elites like Dr. Anthony Fauci and 99.9% of the world's immunologists, epidemiologists, and virologists are not to be trusted. But here - buy my supplements and wellness products so I can get rich off your ignorance.  My contact, correspondence, visits, and holiday get-togethers with my opposite-thinking family members went from frequent to nonexistent, because of their ignorant fanaticism.

  

     My nephew was employed by Sean Feucht, a musician and a favorite "worship leader" of some family members.  Feucht is a hateful, bigoted, grifter, who is the epitome of the Republican Jesus worshiper - the one who dismisses what Jesus actually commands us to do, and instead does the opposite.  He thinks drag queens reading books to kids is the most harmful thing to a child but doesn't think the number one killer of children - guns - is a problem.  He's a rabid pro-birther and Christian Zionist, which means he believes terminating a fetus is against God's will, but the elimination of Palestinian babies is part of God's plan in order for the return of Jesus to take place.  He is a self-described Christian-nationalist with a multi-million dollar "ministry" that has afforded him multiple homes and rental properties. Feucht calls the white nationalist terrorist group The Proud Boys his ally. He's amassed most of his wealth by joining the anti-vax far-right propaganda machine while ridiculously claiming his "religious freedom" is being infringed upon.

     He held Covid super-spreader disinformation concerts in violation of laws and safety regulations. He took his End Times/Anti-science/Anti-empathy message out on the road, promoting Republican candidates and conspiracy theories while claiming persecution by the demonic Democratic Party.  He holds "prayer worship" gatherings at the Capitol Building at the invitation of the Christo-fascist Heritage Foundation.  An unwavering Trump sycophant, Feucht ignores or dismisses every sin and crime committed by the serial adulterer and rapist, because he believes that Trump was appointed President by God to rid the country of "demonic woke liberalism", and to restore family values to America.  Feucht is a man with a history of minor criminal offenses himself, and a plethora of questionable financial practices and tax impropriety.  So, it is no surprise that he sees Trump as a worthy member of his crusade. Working for God in Sean Feucht's world, means making a lot of cash and becoming a real estate tycoon.  Like most of Jesus' words that he ignores, Feucht doesn't worry too much about any camels going through the eye of any needles.  He and his fellow Christian Zionist friends Paula White, Robert Jeffress, Mike Huckabee and others, never run out of their polluted brand of Christian Kool-Aid to serve up to their flock of gullible guzzlers.  And there are plenty who are inexplicably thirsty for it.  

     I've never been the type to compromise my own standards of conscience and conduct when it comes to my expectations of others.  Which is why I've always had little trouble eschewing those who fall short of that.  Blame the Stoic in me who prioritizes mental and emotional health by limiting or ending relationships that can erode inner tranquility. Anyone who can accept or ignore the gross moral depravity, cruelty, and immaturity of Trump, and consider him qualified for the highest office in the land, is not someone with whom I have shared values. And consequently, have no interest in sharing company with.           

     

Cognitive Dissonance Syndrome. 

     This Trump Cult mentality is a unique one in that not only do people vote against their own interests in Trumpworld, but they actively support the things that they themselves had denounced and/or fought against before they jumped on the Trump Trainwreck.  A sampling include:

• 
  Military Members & Veterans: Support for a draft dodger who calls them "suckers and losers", mocks war heroes and Gold Star families, fires and criticizes Five-Star Generals in his Administration who disagree with him, and cuts veterans' benefits while dismantling the Veteran's Administration.  Trump repeatedly extols praise upon enemy dictators like Putin, Jong Un, Erdogan, while insulting our ally leaders.  He is unquestionably beholden to Putin on so many levels.  
• Law Enforcement: The most corrupt and lawless President in history had overwhelming support all three times of his candidacy, including while running against a former prosecutor who put criminals in jail.  Police swear an oath to the Constitution, while Trump repeatedly ignores his oath to uphold constitutional laws.  He is a convicted felon and an adjudicated rapist.  He's a tax cheat who has stolen from charities and created a fraudulent University.  He pardoned colleagues who conspired with Russia to help him get elected and military members convicted of war crimes. He pardoned all 1500 convicted January 6th rioters, including those responsible for injuring 150 Capitol and D.C. police.  Officer Brian Sicknick died of a stroke from injuries sustained in the riot.  Five other officers died from suicide in the days and months afterward.  "Backing the Blue" apparently doesn't include the officers Trump unleashed harm upon.
• Nurses and healthcare workers: The medical and healthcare community saw firsthand the results of the Trump administration's botched and totally incompetent response to the Covid-19 pandemic.  Instead of adhering to medical science, their education, and their training, some healthcare workers decided that Trump's denials of the virus' severity and his endorsement of medical fraudsters like the Disinformation Dozen, were what they'd subscribe to.  Their indoctrination into Trump's world of delusion and denial had them siding with a buffoon who peddled disinfectant and horse paste as treatment over the recommendations of the world's top medical experts, epidemiologists, and virologists.  The cuts to NIH funding, Medicaid, Medicare, the VA, and the CDC is nothing short of medical malpractice on a global scale by this administration. Loss of jobs, expertise, research, care, resources, and hospitals are the result.
• Contractors and Union members:  Trump has a long history of stiffing contractors he hired to work on his buildings and casinos.  Plumbers, construction workers, carpenters, painters, bartenders, housekeepers, Trump had more than 3,500 lawsuits against him for nonpayment to individual employees and subcontractors.  Like the entire GOP, Trump has always been vehemently opposed to unions. Trump recently fired heads of the National Labor Relations Board, paralyzing the agency.
• Educators: Some polls show 30% of those in the teaching profession voted for Trump in 2020.  His cuts to education funding in K-12 and Universities are staggering.  His attempt to eliminate the Department of Education during his first term failed.  Yet he is trying to do it again, with the help of this 30%.
• Women/Mothers:  Bodily autonomy as an aside, voting for a lifelong misogynist and sexist is bad enough.  But supporting an admitted sexual assaulter, an adjudicated rapist with 26 credible sexual assault allegations against him, and a 25-yearlong best friend to sex trafficker and pedophile Jeffrey Epstein is nothing short of revolting.  How does a mother justify that to her young daughter?
• Minorities:  A majority of Hispanic men and an increase in Black men and Asian voters helped Trump win this last election.  Despite his well-documented, lifelong history of racism toward all non-white groups.  Erasing Black History pages from the White House website and his current illegal arresting and deporting of non-white citizens and asylum-seeking immigrants should not be a surprise.
• Senior Citizens/Government Assistant Recipients:  Trump is only the latest Republican President to try to gut government programs like Social Security, Medicaid, and Medicare aimed at helping those most in need.  The elderly, the handicapped, the mental health community, the addicted, single mothers, basically anybody unable or incapable of surviving on their own in America's climate of economic inequality.
• The "Price of Eggs & Gas Are Too Expensive" Crowd:  The false narrative repeated ad nauseam about Joe Biden being the reason consumer prices were high and inflation was out of control, was a simple argument that uneducated voters believed. The fact that Presidents have no control over the supply and demand costs of fuel and other goods, and that inflation was at record lows under Biden wasn't believed by the uninformed.  Biden's policies and interventions during Covid resulted in the United States having the best post-Covid economic recovery in the world.  No matter that by every metric, the economy under Democrats over the last 40 years has always been far better than under Republicans.  Now, we're headed for higher inflation and another probable Republican recession thanks to Trump's tariffs and economic plan. 
• Evangelical Christians:  No faction of the Trump Cult is more devoted to their cult leader than the Protestant base.  Which proves beyond Satan's own shadow of doubt, that the religious movement founded by Jesus has nothing to do with what Evangelical Republicans stand for.  Trump is the most unchristian and anti-Jesus-like President in history, by every moral, biblical, and theological metric. And yet these so-called Christians treat him like "the chosen one" he called himself.  

I'm Not Okay, You're Not Okay.

     As I stood alone on the sidewalk of my hometown's Westfield Town Green recently with one of my signs, I felt an overwhelming surge of emotional and psychological exhaustion and despair.  I didn't have the strut I had in New York City.  It wasn't because I was in "be careful" territory.  It wasn't because of the bearded, obese guy in the jacked-up pickup truck who drove by with his middle finger flashed my way.  It wasn't because of the "Fuck you, pussy!" (the most common taunt I get) from the guy in the Jeep, or the deprecatory "You're ridiculous" comment from the woman in the minivan with the "Mom's Taxi" sticker on the back windshield.  Unlike those on the opposite side of the political spectrum, I believe liberals experience pain and exhaustion on a different and added level than conservatives do.  It comes from an anger and hopelessness manifested by the cruelty and unfairness our fellow humans experience.

     Conservatives on the other hand. are generally disaffected by the suffering of others, unless it affects them personally.  If their child comes out as gay, that might change their bigoted opinion about homosexuality, but it still may not.  If their daughter is raped, they might change their opinion about supporting a rapist for President. If their Social Security, Medicaid, or VA benefits are cut, they might learn that the Republican Party is to blame for it. If their relative is kidnapped and disappeared by ICE, they might realize they were lied to about deportation policy.  But when it comes to the struggles or persecution of others, conservatives have a defense mechanism shielding them from it affecting them.  This is why they label empathy as weakness, and acceptance and equality as "woke".  It's easier than having compassion and feeling any type of humane obligation to help or support someone not having the same privilege as you.

       

     As a second and third pickup truck drove by with middle fingers directed at me, those words from Mike repeated again in my head for about the hundredth time since he said them last November:  "We'll be alright... We'll be alright..."  Well, I'm not alright.  I'm not okay.  And I'm certain I won't be for a very long time.

     I'm not okay that people and children are being kidnapped and disappeared Gestapo-style and sent to mega-prisons in a foreign country.  I'm not okay with our constitutionally protected freedom of speech being an arrestable offense.  I'm not okay that my gay cousin Nicole, and her partner are experiencing increased hate, discrimination, and losses of rights.  I'm not okay that Kevin, who grew up a stone's throw away from me, and the dozens of other gay people I know, certainly have to endure the same increased dehumanization, thanks to Trumpism. I'm not okay with our beautiful and majestic public properties, protected Native-American lands, and National Parks being gutted and sold for corporate profit.  I'm not okay that important and essential programs and agencies that make this country exceptional and safe are being eliminated.  I'm not okay that cuts decimating jobs and services of the FAA, FEMA, NWS, CDC, EPA, FDA, NPCA, NIH, if not already, will also result in an onslaught of accidents, illnesses, and loss of lives.  I'm not okay with robbing the poor of their SNAP, Meals On Wheels, Head Start, Medicare, Medicaid, veterans' benefits, and housing assistance in order to pay for billionaires' tax cuts.  I'm not okay Trump is destroying and defunding our public education system.  I'm not okay with research for diseases like Cancer and Parkinson's being defunded.  I'm not okay with the patients I treat at the hospital being stripped of psychiatric services they desperately need because they're not considered important enough for care according to the rich and privileged.  I'm not okay that Trump wants to end funding for Narcan, the emergency medication that literally brings overdose victims back to life.  I'm not okay with legalizing a device that turns standard firearms into machine guns.  I'm not okay that the Grifter-In-Chief continues to use the presidency to profit millions to billions off his crypto currency/meme coins, private contract deals with foreign dictators, bribing and blackmailing news corporations, law firms, and universities, and his many merchandise items.

    

     I'm not okay with the richest man in the world along and the billionaire President eliminating USAID to millions of the poorest people and children in the world, literally allowing them to starve to death.  I'm not okay with these two evil fucks denying life-saving medicine and medical aid to poor people in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Sudan because their lives and skin color are considered less-than.  I'm not okay that this President believes Ukraine is the enemy and Russia should be able to do and take whatever the hell it wants.  I'm not okay with white nationalists, Christo-fascists, the billionaire class, unqualified Fox News personalities, and incompetent and sex abuser department heads running an oligarchical government.  I'm not okay that Trump has encouraged and supported Benjamin Netanyahu's continued genocide upon the Palestinian people while not caring that U.S. food and humanitarian aid is being blocked from getting to Palestinians.  I'm not okay that Trump and Musk don't give a shit that an estimated 50,000 Palestinian children have died of starvation thanks to their cruel apathy.  I'm not okay this lunatic insidiously said he wants to take over and own Gaza, kick out the remaining Palestinian population that hasn't already been mass murdered, and have his family build beachfront property there.  I'm not okay with the country I live in implementing an authoritarian and fascist policy playbook that mirrors Stalin, Hitler, and Orban. I'm not okay with Trump repeatedly disobeying Constitutional Law and the decisions of the courts, including the U.S. Supreme Court.  I'm not okay that if the President of The United States were a regular civilian, he'd have been sentenced to prison multiple times over for all the crimes he's committed.

 

     That's the emotional price I pay for being a person who grew up being taught that caring for the least of my brothers, for the marginalized, and voiceless, is not just a Christlike thing, but a human decency thing.  That's the emotional price for not being a Republican.  Or a conservative.  Or a fundamentalist Christian who thinks abortion and homosexuality are the only two (erroneously interpreted) sins their god forbids; despite the fact their Lord and Savior Jesus never saw either issue important enough to mention.  That's the emotional price for not being a selfish, hateful, bigoted, hypocrite. 

     So no, I'm not okay emotionally.  And I haven't been since November 5th.  (If anyone's asking.)

Bonhoeffer, Aurelius, Tutu.

     German theologian and anti-Nazi dissident Deitrich Bonhoeffer said "Silence in the face of evil is evil.  Not to speak is to speak.  Not to act is to act."

     Relative to the Trump's complete contempt for the rule of law and the Constitution, and his horrifically cruel, vengeful, and inhumane policies, there's a saying that goes: "If you ever wondered what you would have done during slavery, the Holocaust, and the Civil Rights Movement, you're doing it right now."

      I'm not doing a whole helluva lot.  I make signs and attend protest rallies.  I write and call my legislators about issues and proposed bills I feel strongly about.  I make small contributions to political campaigns and causes.  I have my voice and my vote. I attempt to make a difference, as small as it is, at helping keep this country from full-fledged oligarchy, authoritarianism, and fascism.  The words of Bonhoeffer and Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius - "You can commit injustice by doing nothing" - I keep coming back to.

     So, I'll continue standing on the street corner or in front of a church, a business, Trump Tower, or state capitol building with my signs in protest.  I'll continue putting anti-Trump and anti-Republican bumper stickers on my car.  I'll continue joining rallies and protests with dozens, or hundreds, or tens of thousands of people.  And because of this, I know what side of history I would have been on during slavery, the Holocaust, and the Civil Rights Movement.  My belief is that the Trump supporters of today would have been on the opposite side - backing the Confederacy, Jim Crow, and Hitler if they were German.

     Desmond Tutu said, "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."  At The People's March protest in Washington D.C., a reporter interviewed me and asked about my reasons for being there.  I ended my comments by saying, "When my grandchildren learn about how the worst President in U.S. history - a rapist - tried to overthrow the government, shred our Constitution, and destroy the ideals America is ideally supposed to stand for, and they ask what I did about it, they'll know I tried to do something. They'll know I stood on the right side of history." 

     Those grandchildren of mine, they don't exist.  But I do imagine how people with small children and grandchildren would answer that question - "What did you do about it?"  And with that answer, what type of message is it sending about morality, decency, compassion, and humanity?  What type of message are they giving their children based on either their support or opposition of this man?  I'm glad knowing my unheard message is the right one.  But I'm still not okay.